Joe's That Just Happened Day

Bev had her "That Just Happened" day and today it was my turn. You see we get most of our gear and equipment through chartered cargo flights. We had one scheduled today at 12:15. Our trucks arrived at the airport at about quarter 'til twelve. So we parked at the end of the runway in our designated staging area and waited. At about 12:40 I called the office to to check on the status of the flight. I was told they got held in Bagram and were due in at 12:45. Cool. No problem. Actually, big problems.

So, at 1:15 I called to check on the status of the flight and was told they are there at the designated area. I said, "No they're not. We're here and I don't see them." So now my office is calling their office in Bahrain. I get a phone call back telling me they are at Ramp 9. Where the heck is Ramp 9? They are supposed to be at Ramp 7. So I take a walk out as close to the runway as possible and look down back towards the terminal to see if I can see a big plane with a yellow tail. Nope, none here.

I call the office back (because I don't have the phone number of the courier). I get told that they are being pushed back from the terminal and will be here in five minutes. I look down the flight line and see a large jet being pushed back and think okay, just a few minutes... Ahahahaha!

That plane comes down toward us and then out of the blue turns back in at the next available loading area. Ruh Roh! They messed up again. About that time my boss calls me and tells me that the plane is parked in the wrong area. Duh! It turns out that she is also at the airport but over at one of the support sites discussing comms issues with some folks there.

After conferring with the flight line guys we decide that someone should drive down there to check it out. BUT they can only go so far without a flight line pass. Snake, yep, that's his call sign, comes back and tells me that he thinks that is our plane.

After waiting for another 30 minutes we get a call from my office that says the plane's APU (auxiliary power unit) has failed AND they have shut down their engines. They are DIW (dead in the water)! Now we have to find an APU to take to them but we can't because we cant' go down the flight line.

After figuring out how to get down ther and getting the APU hooked up to the truck we see the plane start to move. The only problem is that it turns the opposite way and heads down the taxiway. What? Are they taking the long way? No. that plane is an old Russian IL-76 cargo plane and the next thing we know it takes off over our heads. Shit! Where the $R^& is our plane?

Now my phone rings again. It is my boss. She tells me that she is hearing that our plane is in Bagram. What? Didn't it just leave Bagram? Now another phone call from Bahrain telling us that the plane is in Kabul. Ok, WTF?

This whole time we have noticed a cargo plane, NOT one with a yellow tail, sitting at the far end of the runway on the other side of it. Could that be them? We have to find out! So we call the tower on the radio and request permission to cross the runway so we can check that plane out. The tower comes nack with a negative response. Really? "If you need to get to ramp 9 you have to take the perimeter road." So the driver tells me to go get my protective gear on so we can take the perimeter road. Um. Not happening. I am not authorized, nor stupid enough, to ride in a "thin skin" vehicle outside the wire. "Tower, Ramp 7 Air Ops. Request permission to cross the runway to talk to our plane that is stranded down at ramp 9." "Negative."

Now we get the real Air Boss to call them on the radio and finally get permission to cross the runway. Shew! So we take off down the taxiway and turn left to cross the runway. Now the radio rings out again. "Stop, hold your position." Two flights land and the we get permission to cross.

We finally pull up to the plane and I get out. The co-pilot opens his window. I yell, "Is Keith onboard?" "Wait one." Yea! We have found our plane! Its only 4:30 at this point. Keith crawls down the escape ladder under the cock pit and literally gives me a hug. They have been here since 11:30 and DIW since then. They asked around for an Auxiliary Pressure Unit but nobody at the military end of the airport has one. (Note, this APU does not equal the one previously mentioned.

Their aircraft needs a blow start, not a jump start. Its kind of like rolling your manual transmission car then popping the clutch except this bird requires a big blower to start the turbines spnning so they can "pop the clutch". Do we have one at our end? The answer turns out to be yes. The only problem is that we have never used it. Really? After spending about 20 minutes at the plane we get a call on the radio that ours works. Snake asks me, "You want to wait with the plane?" "Uh, no. I'll ride back with you and then come back."

This time the tower immediately gives us permission to cross back over. Three planes land before we can cross. We get back and have to wait for the APU operator to start another plane before we can head back the mile and a half to the other end of the runway.

The tower gives us permission but we have to explain that we are towing an APU with a chase vehicle. After explaining that we don'' have three vehicles, we have two with the follow vehicle pulling an APU they finally let us go.

(Sigh!) Did I tell you that the tow vehicle was a John Deere tractor. BTW, they are not that fast. About a quarter way down the runway the radio cackles out, Ramp 7 Air Boss pull off the taxiway NOW! I look into the side mirror and there is a helicopter bearing down on us from above. We immediately pull off into the weeds and the poor guy driving the tractor pulling the two-ton APU can't pull off so he has to get blasted by the helo as it passes us on the taxiway.

Tower, ramp 7 Air Boss...Tower, Ramp 7 Air boss... ...Tower, ramp 7 air boss... ... ... Ramp 7 cross now and wait at Kilo. So we cross. Now four planes land and we wait... and wait. Cross to Charlie. wait... wait... wait... Two UN planes taxi by. Ramp 7 Air Boss you are cleared to Ramp 9. The journey continues at three miles an hour. Ramp 7 Air Boss you are going to have to go faster. "I can't! I have a John Deere tractor pulling an APU behind me and he is going as fast as he can.

Finally we make it to the bird as the sun sets behind the Hindu Kush. We hook up the APU and the flight engineer steps in front of the plane and tells the pilot to start the engine. NOTHING! The flight engineer sprints back to the redlining APU and shuts it down. He didn't hook it up right and it was about to blow because of all the pressure in the hose. He disconnects the hose and bleeds the pressure off. He reconnects it and they try again. This time the turbines start to slowly turn...And after about five minutes the engines start. At this point it is pitch black.

We disconnect the APU and I hop on the plane to taxi because we are going to get there way before the John Deere. I sit in the small area for the crew with Keith and we catch up during the taxi. But then I hear HEY from the cockpit. The crew chief jumps up and runs to the cockpit. He turns around and taps me on the shoulder. The Captain needs you. WHAT?

I jump into the cockpit as we approach our unloading area. "Where do we park?" Uh... okay, turn left 90 degrees here then go to the end and turn right 90 degrees. Then we go about 100 feet and turn right 90 degrees again so you are lined up for the taxiway back to the run way." I just got called to the cockpit to give directions to the pilot. That happened too?

Finally, finally, we are parked and ready to unload. They have 5200 kilos (11,000 pounds) for us. 75 pieces. Four weigh over 700 pounds each. Thank God we brought six laborers with us. About a half hour into the unloading and accounting process a light flashed from the plane. Keith runs over to check it out. About three minutes later he comes sprinting back. We have 10 minutes to leave or the plane is grounded here for the night. NO! We still have to verify 30 packages against the "Bill of lading". I have never read numbers so fast in my life. We finished with about 30 seconds to go. I swear the plane was rolling before the ladder left the ground.

We finish loading the trucks and I thank each and every one of the laborers and drivers for being patient and working so hard. Now we head home and actually get stopped at a police check point. I flip my diplomatic credentials and they let us go. Shew! Tem minutes and two traffic jams later we are home. 7:45pm.

Now, we have to unload 11,000 pounds.......Nope, that HAS to wait until tomorrow...